For an old UPPSS aspirant, the road to civil services or the UPSC exam has turned into a long painful battle for failure, refusal of employment and an existential crisis that still persists.
Sharing his experience on the Reddit anonymous sharing platform, the user Socrates_08 started its story with a striking achievement: “After having done almost everything for the career. I am where I started everything.”
At 26, the user shared that he had a undergraduate diploma in mass media and journalism. Interested in international relations and geopolitics, in 2020, he decided to take what many call “The most difficult examination of the world”: UPSC.
Years of effort, but no result
The first attempt in 2021 ended with a failure. “2021-Pré failed,” he said, explaining how he could not take the preliminary exam.
Without being discouraged, he tried again in 2022. “2022 – Pré failed.”
By 2023, the mental and emotional assessment of repeated failure had caught up with it. A month just before the preliminaries, he stopped. “Due to anxiety, low confidence and professional exhaustion,” he said.
Three years had passed and he said that he had no diploma that had helped directly.
“I became desperate to leave the house and start winning after realizing how I had spent the three most precious and younger years in my life.”
Verification of reality: the labor market was not welcoming either
He turned to digital marketing, a booming area with opportunities, the Internet said. Influencers said that with online courses and a little effort, anyone could get a stable job.
But moving from the preparation of the UPSC to corporate work was not easy for him.
“I thought:” What a fall, will be a diplomat is looking for a digital marketing role. “”
He obtained a media internship paid in an agency, to be dismissed within two months. “I was dismissed … due to my lack of performance marketing skills.”
A new opportunity came in the form of a home work course in an intermediate level startup, offering only 5,000 ₹ per month for nine hours of daily work.
Despite the low salary, he worked hard, managing referencing, classification of keywords, writing blogs and copying ads. His bosses were satisfied. A colleague reassured him: “I don’t know the others, but you will convert.” However, it was not offered this opportunity either.
Panic and depression attacks
One month of job research has produced no calls for interviews. The refusals, coupled with his past failures of the UPSC, had a severe number on his mental health.
A step forward: RP marketing and influencer
Determined to move forward, he went to Delhi again for job interviews in person. The offers, however, were disappointing – “I expected 25k, and they gave 20k or less. To be honest, it is difficult to live in 20k if you are a stranger.”
To date, he planned to restart the preparation of the UPSC, but the idea of dealing with the immense program has scared him again.
After months of rejection, he contacted a friend to get help. She referred it to a public relations agency. He joined, although public relations do not know his strong costume.
He managed to erase an backlog of influencer collaborations in a month. Its director was impressed, giving him full responsibility for the field.
However, his salary was barely sufficient. When the agency offered to keep it as a full -time intern for two more months, it decided to look elsewhere.
Over the next two months, he applied to more than 40 jobs and managed to make one with a salary of 25,000 rupees per month.
The elephant in the room: UPSC always haunts it
Despite stability, the regret of the failure of the UPSC still persists. He compared his work to the dream that led him in the past. “I always think that I did not find my goal, and all I do is keep myself busy until I find one.”
The position resonated with a lot, triggering a mixture of concern, reflection and solidarity among readers.
A user admitted: “Reading all of this scares me at the age of 23”, detailing his own exhausting routine of balancing the Faculty of Law, an internship and the SSC CGL preparation. Another user has offered comfort, saying: “It is normal to feel this. Very well. But you should not look back. Give your concentration to 100% and your will to your current work.”
