A few years ago, I attended my friend Nick’s 40th birthday party.
As part of the celebration, he engaged in an improvisational comic, and we all had to participate in learning improvisational comedy.
(I just felt the collective thrill of all the introverts reading this newsletter).
We started coming up with fun scenarios and scenes to participate in, and we discovered the most important rule of improv: “Yes and.”
Two simple words, and the foundation of all improvisational comedy:
Whenever someone suggests a scene, phrase or situation, the ONLY acceptable response is: “yes and”
- Yes: Acceptance! I accept and acknowledge that whatever the situation, no matter how absurd it may be, it is true.
- And: build! Like in a tennis match, once your improv partner sends you the ball, your job is to return it! Rely on the situation or scene.
For example, if your improv partner says, “I’m a space pirate,” your response might be:
- “Yes, and I’m the Space Police, you’re under arrest!”
- “Yes, and I’m a mate looking for a new crew, it’s perfect!”
- “Yes, and my name is Captain Hook, welcome to Pirates Anonymous.”
The “yes and” rule is crucial, because there’s nothing worse than a bad improv partner!
A bit like Liam Neeson in this short sketch with Ricky Gervais, (I laugh every time):
Yes and the rule of life
As a former gifted “gifted child” who has a pretty negative inner critic, I have worked hard to integrate “yes and” into my life.
The “yes” part is built around acceptance, which is something I’ve spent the last two years striving to embrace.
Discover my past tests on Acceptance And Wabi-Sabi to find out more.
This is the “and” part I’ve been focusing on lately.
As Dr. Kristen Neff points out in her book Self-compassionlife is complex and so are humans:
“Judgment defines people as good and bad and attempts to capture their essential nature with simplistic labels.
Discriminant wisdom recognizes complexity and ambiguity.
Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Things are never as good or bad as our brains think they are.
So, despite the voice in our heads that wants to judge everything in black or white, yes or no, good or bad terms… We must remember that life is a beautifully complicated mess.
Author F. Scott Fitzgerald once said:
The test of first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in the mind at the same time, while still maintaining the ability to function.
You must, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to do them differently.
This is my task for you today.
Is there a part of your life that seems black or white and could use a little complexity instead?
Nothing is as simple as it seems.
Life is hard and change is difficult. AND you are a good person who tries.
Which means there is hope. And hope is the emotion of the warrior.
Also, please go watch this Sketch by Liam Neeson.
You are welcome.
-Steve
PS: Need guidance and accountability to reach your fitness goals? Nerd Fitness has helped over 10,000 humans over the past 8 years with one-on-one online fitness coaching. Click here for more details.
